Ever had one of those days where you just wish you could disappear? When everything seems like it's just too much; the kids, your work, the house, your finances, school work, your friends, and all your other activities just seem to compound on top of you until you feel like your head will literally explode... I had one of those days yesterday, well actually it was a compilation of the last two days. I had parking tickets, and daycare expenses, my youngest son broke my brand new phone when I turned my head just for a second. The dog is sick and possibly dying, my oldest seems to find every reason to not listen to any of the rules. I have to finish school work for myself, teach him his homeschooling courses, and still find time to write and spend time with my girlfriend, and my other son. Plus an endless amount of housework and repairs. Ont top of that I have my ex-mother-in-law coming at me about lying to her about god-only-knows-what. My ex-wife has paid about 1% of what she owes me in child support, the courts lost my paperwork that I had filed, and it all hit me like a ton of bricks...too much all at once. I broke down... I lost it... Category 10 meltdown. I'm not a wimpy guy, but I wept. It only lasted about 30 seconds before I groin-punched myself back into manhood. I'm a man and we don't cry, unless we laugh too hard. It occurred to me that I have not had a break, not been able to just self-reflect. I have denied myself the basic need of loneliness in order to digest my own stress level. My plate will never be empty, I know this. However, with all the responsibilities I have staring me down its just a matter of time before greatness emerges. Right? So I stepped away mentally for a moment, just left my own head. Walked away into the nothingness that so embodies the need to let all my problems just get sucked away. Even if it is for just a minute, sometimes that's all you need. The black hole state of mind, where everything enters and nothing leaves. Where problems dissolve into empty thoughts and you find yourself staring at a television screen, that is broadcasting some mentally numbing garbage about some ass-clown in Nebraska who just cashed in his retirement for a doomsday bunker. Fuck it! I don't care what's on TV, I just need the white background noise of this fucktard explaining why selling his motorcycle for a small arsenal of weapons that frankly, his inept and obese body couldn't possibly wield with any sort of effectiveness what-so-ever. It was then it occurred to me I hadn't thought about my problems for almost 3 hours. It was amazing, but of course the second I realized this my brain turned right back on. The point of all this is that sometimes we need those moments. Moments we can run away from ourselves, moments where our lives seem simpler. I love my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but every now and then it's nice to longer think about it. We all have problems, we all have stress, but having the ability to mentally and emotionally separate yourself from it, is truly a necessary part of life. Figure out how, we all have our ways. Mine, a large pepperoni pizza, an ice cold coke, and doomsday preppers on Netflix. Why doomsday preppers? Simply because it's nice to know that no matter how bad things seem, there is and always will be someone so incredibly less intelligent than yourself. Oh and if you're a prepper...than quite simply you should know, I spend my most stressful moments laughing my ass off at how incredibly dumb and ignorant you sound when you try to reason your idiotic notions of the Apocalypse. Leave a Reply. |
Archives
February 2016
Categories
All
|