Slag noun Stony waste matter separated from metals during the smelting or refining of ore. Slag, whore, slut... All these words pretty much mean the same exact thing...desperate. The point is that yes although they are also people they are the single exception to the phrase "treat people how you want to be treated." The reason is simple, if you treat them nice in any way they will assume you want what they are offering. There is no such thing as a good slag, even if they look high class it just means you have to pay more money and time for them to eventually disrespect themselves. Additionally slags doesn't necessarily only apply to women, men can be slags too. The only exception is that men take pride in this disgusting act, whereas women get judged right away men get praised for the same ridiculous behavior. It's fair to say that I struggle with the human psyche, the part of the brain that compels people to make horrible decisions. There will always be some underlying reason, daddy didn't love me enough, I was the middle child, I have low self esteem. The truth quite simply is these are cognitive decisions, made by mentally weak individuals with little to no regards for the consequences. There is no benefit to this lifestyle, there is no heroic celebration for using a slag for what it is intended for. You can find them easy enough, they exist everywhere. Late night bars, at the gym, even tripping over their own feet late at night after yet another bender intended to erase away the last series of bad decisions. Never allow yourself to be seduced by a slag, because whatever they may do to temporarily amuse you, there is always a chance that the risk may severely outweigh any real reward offered. Why the word slag? Fair enough, evaluate the definition of the word...basically slag refers to the leftover waste that remains after you have refined and purified all the positive raw materials Before I get started...don't lie, you know you've probably done a few of these things! 10. Laughed at an incredibly racist or discriminatory joke... We've all done it, it's okay if we cannot laugh at our own stupidity then who the hell will? These jokes are like pints of ice cream, we walk into them thinking "just a little, then I'm done." Sure enough though before you know it you're repeating it in a crowd of people that typically will include one of the people the joke is directed at...awkward. 9. Wishing for pain or death during a road rage rant... You're in a rush to get home too, but then some asshole comes and cuts you off. You look in your rear-view mirror and realize there is no one behind you... If this dickhead could have just waited an extra second or two, he wouldn't have jeopardized your life, and possibly the lives of other motorists either. My favorite..."I hope you get herpes and fucking die!!!" Now sure this is a little extreme, wishing death upon someone else for something as silly as pulling out in front of you...but think for a second. He almost killed you. At this point wishing death upon him is kind of justified. 8. Pretending to text while taking a picture of either yourself or that crazy cat lady who's dancing to "The Wonder Years" theme song with tin cans on her feet. This one cracks me up, if you honestly think you have never done this, or don't know anyone who has...go to www.peopleofwalmart.com. Look here's the thing, people will continue to do completely ridiculous and insane things. If you or I don't capture that moment of total human failure then someone else will get all the credit for the three foot long mullet, or the tattoo of Obama's face, or the guy wearing a tutu in the liquor store. There is a reason our phones have cameras on them, because the guy who thought about it was like "damn I wish there was a way I could take a picture of my co-worker's clothing choice today"....Light bulb!!!! 7. Peeing in the shower There are two different types of shower peeing....the justified version, and the disgusting version. If you live by yourself, shower peeing is no big deal, besides your studio apartment is so small that anything you can do to save time or space is totally worth doing. The disgusting version is exactly what is sounds like, peeing in another person's shower, or in the gym shower, or the pool shower. I got news for you ladies and gentlemen, other people do it to...and we all know it. We as a human race are aware that shower water doesn't smell like coffee or asparagus, do us all a favor stop being a lazy, disgusting slob. 6. Changing the TV channel when a sad news story comes on... "Baby Tonya was kidnapped"...click, "Haitian relief fund for tsunami victims"...click, "School shooting massacre takes dozens of lives"...click, "Welcome to Family Feud!"... Thank God!. We have become so desensitized to the issues of real life that when it actually happens it has almost become boring to us...it's called mankind....as in "man" meaning human, and "kind" which unless you were born in the swamps of Louisiana or lived under a rock means, being nice. I'm very guilty of this myself, I constantly try to avoid real life situations like a plague. It's not that I don't care, it's simply that I would rather avoid the heartache that I would be forced to deal with by swallowing the truth. The truth is we live in a pretty fucked up world, here in America we throw away more money in food in a year then some other country's people would earn in that same time. We are a group of instant satisfaction people, however we only want the facts that are entertaining, pertinent or only directly affect us. Then again who has time to watch the news, when Big Brother is coming on and we need to know which roommates are banging each other this week. 5. Leave the bathroom without washing our hands... You're in a rush, you don't have time...Yeah okay. Meanwhile Roger is over two stalls down with explosive diarrhea, the kind that kids laugh at when they hear it. Imagine just for a second if after he is done doing the extreme stall makeover, that he decided he didn't have enough time to wash his hands and just walked out like he just bought new clothes from Madison Ave. Everything in the bathroom is disgusting, not just you. The sinks, the door handles, the paper towel dispensers... touching just one of the surfaces and not washing your hands is the equivalent of making love to pig in his own filth. It's pretty simple, wash your fucking hands! 4. Yelling at your kids because you are frustrated with everything else... The phone is ringing, you're trying to cook dinner, the TV is up too loud, you had a shitty day at work, you spill something on the floor and your kid asks you "What time is dinner?"...You're completely out of bounds response typically sounds like "WHEN IT FUCKING DONE!!!" Some of you might leave out the "F" bomb...my hat goes off to you. Too often we take our frustrations with our own issues and inadequacies out on our children because they are easy targets. When I was young I remember getting punished for things I didn't do and the retort was always "I know you did something..." We push that on our children and they live in this constant limbo state that makes them walk on eggshells for things they haven't even done wrong yet. Learn how to salvage your children from your anger level, because the reality is you instantly feel awful after you do it anyway. I know it can be difficult, as a single father to two boys, I can tell you on more than one occasion I have lost my cool and exploded my verbal barrage on them for things that are really no big deal. I always regretted it and have found other avenues to work around it moving forward. 3. Stealing... Yes, we are all guilty of this. Whether you took the waitress' pen without realizing it or raided your supply closet at work for your kids back to school supply list. We all steal, some of us have a conscious and do the right thing but more often than not we never think of it as a big deal. So I will tell a story now, about five years ago I worked in a restaurant and helped the owner get it back to its former glory. He had retired from a state government job before he bought the restaurant and had no clue what he was doing, he was so appreciative that when I finished he presented me with a gift before I moved on to my next job. A gold engraved pen with the name of the restaurant and his initials in it, with a card that simply stated, "Thank you for saving me." That pen meant the world to me and I ended up losing it in a bank about a year later, when I went back to the bank just a few months ago I saw the pen on desk in the front office area and when I let them know it was mine the guy casually handed it to me and said "It doesn't work anymore" like I was just going to throw it away. The pen had meaning to me, that is what5 was important so regardless of how simple, insignificant or even silly it may sound, you never realize how big or little of a deal it is to another when something has been taken from them. 2. Having "I hate everything" days... Sometimes these are my favorite days ever, I get more writing material from these days than I do anything else. Here's the thing to keep in mind there is nothing wrong with a "Fuck the World" mentality, as long as it isn't an everyday thing. Learning when and how to display these feelings will make things a lot easier, also strive to be comical when you have these days. You come across as a lot less of a prick when you can make people laugh at how much you hate everything in the moment. For me personally these days are very stress relieving, I try to go to the driving range and hit golf balls because it makes me feel good to pretend I am inflicting pain upon something in order to make myself feel better. So basically between writing and hitting things with a golf club...I'm a pretty sane person. 1. Being more involved with social media than you are your social circle... Social Media was created for two reasons, in order to create and develop relationships with other people and to make money, but when you are more involved with your social media then you are with your circle of friends then you need a serious reality check. There is more to life then what you ate for dinner, how many miles you ran, or your new relationship status that changes every 3 months. Life is about what is outside of technology, not what is only directly in front of you. Trust me seeing the landmarks and natural wonders of the world with your own eyes will always be better then seeing pictures of them or using Google street view. Life is about moving yourself away from whats easy and challenging yourself both mentally and physically in order to grow and develop as a human being. To live is to love, to suffer, to stress, to relax, to feel, to touch, taste and smell. Life is quite simply all about our experiences, and how over time like any great artist, those experiences, shape and mold us into the people we are. |
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