The day after....This is probably one of the toughest days of your life so far, unless this is what you wanted. It's safe to say that most of us felt like this house, broken, falling apart, hopeless... I'll use this story I heard... I offered a homeless man a $20 bill, when he reached for it I pulled it back, crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, stomped all over it, spit on it, then poured my coffee all over it. I then picked it back up and offered it to him again...HE STILL WANTED IT! The point is it doesn't matter how broken, beat-up, used, abused, damaged or hurt you are, creating value in yourself will force others to value you. The first day is hard, you lost your wife, your kids, your house, basically your whole life. Circumstances will be different depending on your situation but the reality is you will probably still feel the same way...like shit, wait no, like shit that was eaten by shit than shit back out again. How many times can I say the word shit to make you feel less shitty? Not enough. So take a break, don't go to work that day. Cancel your plans, you need time to grieve, and please do not grieve into a bottle. Drugs and alcohol are only temporary solutions to a permanent problem, but that's a different story. Here's the thing, you may feel like your life is over, I promise you it isn't. It's still moving on around you so whether you shrivel up and cry, or go party like a rockstar, your life is still moving in a direction. Which direction it's moving in is still your choice! My suggestion, and that's all this is, take a deep breath, call a friend or family member, reach out for help. As men we are always so afraid that reaching out for help is a sign of weakness, well so what!!! I think you have the right to be weak right now, and if your friends and family disagree and do anything other than listen and understand. Than you have bigger problems, like...finding friends that aren't assholes. You will get tons of advice...and I mean tons, some good, most bad. This is not the time to make decisions, this is the time to grieve. Compare the loss of your "life", your wife, kids, house, whatever to actually losing someone you care about. Would anyone fault you if your mother or father stopped existing? Absolutely not, so when your life stops existing the way you knew it to, then there is no shame in shedding tears, or falling apart. In fact I think something is wrong with you if you didn't, but that's just me. Take that time, take that breath, make that call. Let it hurt, because like all scars it will only make you stronger in the long run, and whether you realize it or not, you have a battle looming in the future. Leave a Reply. |
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